I missing my vacation in Thailand so much... This is the feeling I hate the most when I come back from a vacation... I feel really sad each time! I dunno maybe because I'm just staying here just for the bucks and my heart is somewhere.. My reality is not here! This is not the place I dreamt of... but the money is here, so I should stay for the meantime.
The problem is that, when I come back from a vacation it does'nt matter if its short/long.. I got hard time getting back to reality that the vacation is over and I am already here again, in this place! I think It'll take another week for me to function again, it's odd since I just been away for just 5days and my reaction is like I've been gone for a month or so.. I figured it out that Im not really happy in this place.. by the way who is happy here? Everybody just makes a living and its just plain it!
I tried to fool myself and I tried to practice being optimistic.. I am forever an optimist by the way, then I came here, and my optimism been eroded minute by minute. I am happy I am here in this place and not one of those overworked/low waged employee back in my country.. I said I am happy but I am not contented. I remember exactly this feeling.. this is the feeling when Im still in the Phil. I really wanna go out.. and experience the world, and fate brought me here! Now, I wanna get out of here.. off to somewhere I always dreamt of.
Vacation, is invented for us to be refresh from our daily routines, job, responsibilities... But it is not a vacation when you come back at home feeling sad and you just wish that you're still in that vacation spot rather than here. Sometime I had this thought that, I wish I just did'nt take that vacation and I'll be just completely fine.
Im so discontented... I wanna be away from the desert. Gotta sleep now hoping that tomorrow will be a great day!